It’s hot out, let’s get drunk and screw

This is the magical time of year where I turn another year older and see if I can still drink like I’m a college student, at least for a night…perhaps two.  Point being, I get lazy and selfish around my birthday.  I’m not thinking about you guys, I’m not thinking about trying new things necessarily.  I’m thinking about getting what I want, enjoying the things I like most, or revisiting some of the best things I’ve tried in the past year.  I’m also thinking about fireworks, hangovers, short skirts, bikinis, and what the girl walking down the street right now would do after a few…well now I’m just degenerating into a downward spiral.  On with the BOOZE!

Leinenkugel’s Summer Shandy – This is half hefeweizen and half lemonade, and all awesome.  This is a take on the classic German Shandy, which is half Pilsner, and half lemonade.    This could also be done with a Kolsch beer as well since it is essentially a German take on Pilsner.  For my birthday this year I will be mixing Pilsner Shandy’s with a cheap local brew Lionshead.  This will sound like beer blashphemy to most, but kiss my ass, it’s good as hell.

Hoegaarden Mimosa – This is a drink I was introduced to at the Bethlehem Brew Works.  It’s no longer on the menu, but here’s how it goes.  You fill a glass 1/3 full with Orange Juice.  Then you top off with Hoegaarden (really you could use any creamy hefeweizen for this, Schwelmer and Paulaner come to mind).  Then a dash of Grand Marnier.

Jeckyl & Hyde – I have been sworn to secrecy on this drink, but if you happen to be in Jim Thorpe over the summer, swing by Molly McGuire’s and order a pitcher…you’ll be glad you did.

Strong Islands – no wussy Long Islands here.  Top shelf booze, make that Long Island proper!  Then double it…I like my Long Islands in 20 ounce glasses minimum.  This isn’t amateur hour people, if you’re going to have a Strong Island, then have one, none of this doing it halfway garbage.

Slammers – OK, this is completely childish, and there is absolutely no set recipe, and we have never had the same drink twice because every time we are making them, we conveniently seem to already be drunk, and when we make a really good batch and say, we need to remember that…well, you get the idea.  Thankfully we have slammers, because this is the perfect alternative to the To-kill-ya shooter races that happen at gatherings.  You start with some booze, and add Fresca or lemon lime soda.  Ratio is roughly 1/3 booze to 2/3 mixer.  Lots of ice in a small pitcher, mix.  Pour out into shot glasses, and then you take your palm and cover the top of the shot glass.  You then slam the shotglass off of the table (might not want to do this on your dining room table) with palm still over top.  Then you shoot it.  All the slamming does is release the fizz so when you shoot it, it’s not carbonated.  This is more one of those stupid rituals that happens amongst friends, but you can do slammers all night, you can’t really shoot tequila.  Plus it gets messy, and messy is always good.

Pilsner Urquell – The original Pilsner beer.  There is a reason the Czechs drink more than anyone else.  This light crisp and absolutely awesome beer is great for drinking all day at a gathering.  ABV is a low 3.5%.  This means you can actually drink a good tasting beer all afternoon.  You can have your hops and enjoy them too.

Simcoe’s Double IPA – Weyerbacher Brewing Company – To me this is the hops equivalent of why people in Southeast Asia eat hot food when the weather is sweltering.  It’s a counterpoint.  The aggressive spicy hop nature of a Simcoe’s Double is the perfect offset to afternoon drinking.  It will slow you down, and assault your palette.

Hefeweizen – I cannot even specify a particular brewery, because quite literally, if there ever was such a thing as Summer Beer.  It’s hefeweizen hands down.  Wheat beers are cloudy in color, citrus like in taste, creamy or crisp in texture, and typically lower ABV, which is always good when you know you’re having more than one.  Typically hefeweizen is viewed as the most popular entry into the world of craft brewing outside of people trying Guinness…just because it’s Guinness.    Schwelmer, Hoegaarden, Paulaner, and Southampton Double (if you got balls, a 6.5% abv hefeweizen can really shock you) are some of the best Hefewiezens being made today.

Lambic – I will finish with a recommendation to give Lambics a try.  These are Belgian sour beers traditionally made from raspberries.  Although today courtesy of the Lindeman’s brewery, you can get what some snobs will refer to as “Americanized” versions of the style.  Honestly, I’m OK with this style being softened up a bit.  True Lambic beers are impossibly sour and not something for most to jump into.  The Lindeman’s company makes softer, sweeter versions of the style which are more like a sparkling wine.  This style is sometimes referred to as “The champagne of beer styles”, no…you half wit, it sure as shit isn’t Miller High Life.  The more you learn about beer, the more you will despise our major breweries.  I really recommend the Lindeman’s Peach Lambic for those not familiar with the style.  Also of interest.  I have made Mimosa’s using Lindeman’s Peach Lambic before, and they were amazing.

Of course there are many different styles, and everyone’s tastes are subjective, but the summer time is a great time for drinking all of the wonderful booze made on this planet.  So if you don’t like my choices, get out there and drink up, tell me what you think should be on the list of must have summer drinks.

Questions by actual factual beer noobs: – Ongoing series

What is beer made of?

This may sound like a bit of a silly question, but not really, especially considering I was asked by an American.  The actual definition of beer can differ from country to country.  To definitively answer the question, beer snobs the world over are pretty much in universal agreement that “real beer” should adhere to Reinheitsgebot, or the German Purity Law first put into practice in 1487.  So before Columbus even set sail to land on our miserable rock this side of the pond, the Germans had carved their definition of beer into law, and Germans don’t like to change.  This law is still recognized today, even though the European Union passed laws superseding purity law.  Many breweries will still print a phrase similar to “Made in accordance with Reinheitsgebot” on the label.  This is a matter of German pride, we really have nothing like this as Americans in terms of a product that we have deep cultural pride in.  So this is tough to relate to Americans how big of a deal this really is to the brewers.

That’s all fine and good Professor Hopsnmalt, but what is beer actually made of?  Simply put, here is the definition swiped straight from Wikipedia.  I really cannot say this better myself, so here it is:

The  Reinheitsgebot (help·info) (literally “purity order”), sometimes called the “German Beer Purity Law” or the “Bavarian Purity Law” in English, is a regulation concerning the production of beer in Germany. In the original text, the only ingredients that could be used in the production of beer were water, barley, and hops.

The law originated in the city of Ingolstadt in the duchy of Bavaria on 23 April 1516, although first put forward in 1487,^[1] concerning standards for the sale and composition of beer.

I would actually recommend reading the Wikipedia entry found here:  http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Reinheitsgebot

That being stated.  Beer can technically be defined as an alcoholic beverage made using beer brewing techniques, of which there are many.  To make it more complicated, essentially, you can make beer out of anything you can make alcohol out of, which is almost any plant on earth to a degree.  This is how some companies that I will not name have been able to get away with making what they call “beer” by using rice instead of hops.  In Germany, this would have caused all of this particular brewerie’s production to be confiscated with no compensation, putting them out of business or forcing them to make actual beer.

Next time you tip a pint of a major national United States beer, think about that.  You may not actually be even drinking “beer”.

Holy Shitski! It’s a a cornucopia of drunken awesome!

“You have entirely too much time on your hands”  I commonly hear this from some people when referring to my seemingly sage-like knowledge of different beers, or of general booze information on the web.  I must confess, while I do have a near photographic memory, as soon as I insert booze, I’m like an etch-a-sketch.  Thankfully I’m friends with other boozers who like to share their information with me, and thankfully for you, I remembered to bookmark some of the coolest information on the web for booze stuffs.

Don’t say I never gave you anything.  Naga-NOOCH!

http://mydrunktexts.com
“Why the hell did my car drive away and the midget kick me in the balls. (rec’d): we found your car at walmart and you laying by a street light”

http://www.beerquest1k.com/Beer%20Glassware.htm
There’s tons of different glasses out there.  This is a good overview page to get you going.

http://straubs.net/
When you are ready to start ordering glasses, this is the place to go.  Best selection I have found of authentic glassware for order.

http://www.thebrewingnetwork.com/forum/viewtopic.php?t=2102&postdays=0&postorder=asc&start=0
This is a thread showing you how you can cheaply build a conical fermenter for your home brewing needs.

Home Brewing Supply Links
http://www.homebrewery.com/index.html

http://morebeer.com/

http://www.byo.com/resources/hops – Helpful chart for home brewers, but also this will describe the nature of the hops for those who do not brew.  Know what your drinking.

General awesome for the drinker:
http://www.sterlingwineonline.com/catalog/item/doormat/doormat-never-drink-alone.htm
http://www.customcreaturetaxidermy.com/novelties/novelties_2aa.html
http://deepsixbrewing.com/misc/article.pdf
http://www.ihomebrewsolutions.com/TheGreatFridgeProject.pdf
http://www.sidebarbeverage.com/index.html
http://www.exothink.com/Pages/
http://www.beertools.com/store/product.php?prodid=291

Molly McGuire’s Pub & JT’s Steak n Ale House

“Welcome to JT’s all American Steak and Ale House in beautiful downtown Jim Thorpe PA!”  You’ll hear the landmark barkeep Chris exclaims from time to time as people walk through the door.  Immediately you think, I’m going to like it here.

See, Chris has been tending bar longer than you’ve been whacking it to online porn, which means he’s good.  This is also a pub that you’ll routinely find the owners at, having a drink or eating dinner.  Same goes for the sister Irish pub Molly McGuire’s around the corner.

Chris doing what he normally does best. Excel at being awesome. Murphy's Red in the glass for those curious.

Why am I even mentioning these pubs?  I know a few would ask, but the reason is simple.  This is home base.  It’s my backyard, and where I happen to wet my beak.  I will be mentioning other establishments throughout the area as well as breweries we have as I tour them as well.

Starting here at home is where we begin.  The two pubs are sister establishments, so while you will get a better selection of beers at Molly’s, at JT’s you have a greater selection of taps which rotate occasionally, however, most taps will typically maintain the majority of beers year round.

**NOTE**
I’m still not pleased about Pilsner Urquell no longer being available on tap as it was rotated out.  I know, all the more reason to simply build a multiple tap home bar.  I’m getting there, get off my back, but damn I was getting used to that being my everyday beer.

Lisa showing a bit of Jim Thorpe hospitality. How can you not love this girl?

Molly’s is where the selection’s at.  Typically you can choose from about 25 different beers.  Which doesn’t sound like a lot, but when the selection is Chimay, to Trois Pistoles, Railbender Ale, to Dogfish Head, you certainly aren’t hurting for a GOOD beer to drink.  Molly’s also has rotating taps as well that change weekly, along with a new featured beer every week.  Having 20+ different backup beers in the cooler on top of the weekly rotating tap and featured bottle always keeps new beers coming.  Then, there’s the awesome part.

The people.  The people that frequent both of these establishments are for the most part regulars, but Jim Thorpe is also a tourist town, so we get many tourists.  Hell, sometimes the tourists even wind up tagging along with us as we wander the streets happily inebriated.  Which means that this is a friendly town to get your drink on in without even knowing a single person.  Oh yeah, another cool thing, both bars keep the televisions on the different sports stations.  Make no mistake, these are not sports bars by any means.  But I can tell you that when the Steelers, Eagles, Pens, or Flyers are playing, you might be hard pressed to see otherwise.  Go Steelers!

Yes, that is 6 feet of glorious Monday Night Football Halftime Hoagie...and it was awesome.

It also has to be said that this will be the last year we will get to drink at Molly McGuire’s Pub as a new building is being constructed.  Granted while this new bar will be incredibly nice, there will always be a bit of sentimental attachment for the original bar.  If your in the area this year, stop in, there are very few bars that have solid marble tops and are built out of an old bank teller counter.  It’s one of those places that you can get a sense of history in when having a drink.  Also be sure to pay your respects to the vandalized section of sidewalk out front of Molly McGuires that has the words “Save Molly’s” now quite literally written in stone.

Oh yeah, and the food, not typical bar fare here.  Expect quality grub at prices that really are comparable to a super sized value meal.  The French Dip and Seafood Bisque are legendary, and don’t even get me started on the 20 oz steak.  Wing night on Wednesday’s is a must, and I really hope they keep going with Thursday night ribs.  Would like to see a clam day in there guys…just sayin.  Sundays would a great day for clams, not that I’m hinting towards Sunday being an absolutely awesome day for clams, but Sunday would be an absolutely awesome day for clams.

Great booze, great staff, great people, great food.  Of course I’m a little partial because these are my regular watering holes, but if they weren’t as good as they are, this article would be about different establishments all together.  I cannot with good faith give a scored review of these establishments simply because they are my home base pubs.  That’s like comparing your hometown pizza shop that you grew up with to other places, yeah, others may be good, or better…but there’s always something that gives homebase the wildcard.

Typical Tab + Grub 30 bucks give or take depending on what you order.

Bottle prices $4 and up
Tap prices $3 and up (20 ounce draft)

Special Drink not found anywhere else – Jeckyll and Hyde, a blended summer cocktail with La Fin Du Monde as the base.  I’ve been sworn to secrecy so I cannot give up what’s in the concoction, but I can tell you it’s exactly what the Dr. ordered.

Stone IPA

When I think IPA I think immediately that a field of wildflowers should jump out at me, fireworks should explode, and I get a black eye from the knockout punch delivered by a powerful hops assault on my palette.  For this very reason I typically do not find myself particularly caring for most single IPA’s because I prefer the style to be more pronounced like when doubled, as is becoming a popular trend amongst many craft brew styles today.

Best head I've had in years

Stone IPA on the other hand, is downright exquisite.  A work of art.  It is rare that I encounter a beer that seems to take the standard definition of form, and tweak it just so, where you are left questioning the brewing techniques of other master brewers.  Seriously, Stone IPA is THAT good.

You immediately notice from the moment you pour, the density of the head formed, and it has staying power.  Nothing artificial making the head happen here, and that’s a very, very good thing my friends.  This beer is also has one of the strongest lacing characteristics of any beer I have been trying as of late.  Simply put, I had been told to put Stone IPA at the top of my list of IPA’s to try, and it exceeded the hype.

Flavor is incredibly bold for a single IPA, it will hold its own in terms of character to many of my favorite double IPA’s.  Most notable is from the Weyerbacher brewery, their Simcoe Double IPA which I routinely tout as being one of the best IPA’s ever brewed just got a contender.  One day I am going to have to have a side by side sit down with these two incredible beers for a face off.  Stone vs Weyerbacher.  Granted the Stone already has bonus points for being a single IPA, but really, that just speaks to the boldness of this IPA’s character.

awe yeah...look at that sexxay lacing

What to expect from this beer.  Hops dancing on your tongue and smacking you in the face like a dominatrix at a back alley bondage club and getting smeared with honey.  It’s bold, daring, and even though you may cringe, you know you like it.  The floral nature of the hops is creamy, yet maintains the cutting sharpness or sour that really makes an IPA stand out.  It’s incredibly crisp, after three of four sips when your palette becomes accustomed to the assault, you begin to peel back the complex layers of this brew and can practically taste the soil the hops were grown in.  Earthy, spicy, sharp citrus overtone, deep creamy undertone.  This creates an incredibly satisfying IPA experience that really is second to none.

This is one of the best beers brewed today.